Homeschooling in the Mainstream

We just started reading this new book about homeschooling by Millman and it's interesting. My first impulse was to think that it would give homeschooling some street cred and make it more acceptable to the masses, and truth be told it makes a lot of great points as to the merits of homeschooling and the problems with conventional schools, but in the end, it's still just a story about a family's decision to educate their kids. It's about a choice, and one doesn't need to justify one's position to make themselves feel better about their decision. You have to comfortable with it just for it's own sake. Does that make sense?

Either way, my first impulse was to show the book to everyone and say, "See!" But after reading it, I realize what a waste of time it is. People just don't want to be lectured, and we don't feel the need to be vindicated for something we believe so strongly in. Such is life.

Today we are heading out to Hanover to see a play, the Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe, and I have to admit that I am not looking forward to it. It's going to be crowded, and filled not only with rowdy and mannerless school kids en mass (when they're together in large groups it tends to get crazy), but probably lots of people, which is never a good thing. I'm sure the kids will have fun, and we might even see people we know and like, but you never know. Still trying to coordinate a meet with the M's, but I'm never sure what's going on with them. I sometimes get the impression that AN might be mad at me.

Actually, I should call CH and see where she stands. Until the next time, thanks for reading.

So Mysterious

For the life of me I can't figure out what's going on. Our homeschooling paperwork was all lost in the mail, both the year-end portfolio and the curriculum for next year. The conspiracy theorist in me would say that someone or something is out to get us. After all, how could two separate pieces of mail get lost? Either way, can't cry over spilled milk, I have to get the stuff to the office before my perceived deadline of Oct. 1. I'm still not sure if that's the real deadline, but I've put this off long enough. I want closure on my administrative obligations so we can get on with our lives. These are the sort of things that drive NHerites crazy, but I don't think state oversight is such a bad thing.

Somehow there are good homeschool vibes out there, but don't ask me why. Seems like homeschooling is just gaining more acceptance outside the extreme religious fringe, which is a good thing, though I'm always struck how religious homeschoolers can be. The whole concept of homeschooling just seems to be in the air, and it's going to come up I'm sure during this election as both Obama and Palin have commented on it.

Otherwise, things are good. R's parent's are gone, we miss them a lot, the kids have said as much, but our lives are gearing up for the next season and there is so much to do rather than sit around and pine or mope. A started horse riding and she loved it, and she made a new friend, H. We're still trying to find N's' thing, but I think he'll come around and try the horses. He needs to find his own thing. Still pondering the swimming and have to contact J and C at the pool.

The school part has been going well, though it's a struggle with N. He just can't sit still, though he clearly can grasp what we're trying to learn, i.e., he can most definitely read, he just doesn't always want to assert himself. In a school setting I'm sure the teachers would crush his spirit and dub him with an attention problem, which is ridiculous when you realize he's sharp as nails, just not keen on exerting himself and focusing. Oh well, we'll keep working at it without pushing him. He does like the math, however.

We saw CB two days in a row and when I spoke to the B's she said what she always says to me, that they're too busy and wish they could slow things down. Now I never know what to make of what AB says because I get a sense she's trying to live up to some expectations on our part. It seems like she's not wholly comfortable with some aspects of their lives and tries to somehow cover them up, which makes me uncomfortable because it doesn't matter to me. Either way, I'm not sure if she's only saying that to cover for the fact that we never hear from them now that school is in, but no matter. The kids got together and had fun, and CB was the nice sweet girl that she always is.

Which brings up an interesting concept, and I can't help but think of all the parents who overschedule their kids because some of them, a great many I believe, just can't handle quality time spent with their kids. They don't know what to do, so they do whatever they can to farm them out. I'm not saying that's the case with CB, because her parents are great, but it is with a lot of parents. They are uncomfortable being alone with the kids, and either find an activity, take them somewhere, or turn on the TV. It's tough.

Parenthood is tough. Until the next time, thanks for reading.

Busy Parents

We were eating at Boloco and a friend of ours whom we haven't seen in months, if not a year, stopped and talked to us. I'm sorry to say that I didn't recognize her for even a moment, but it was a striking conversation. She is a younger woman married to an older man (much older) who is going to school where he teaches. They have a young daughter, about five, who they are scrambling to farm out. They can't find a place where they can park her for the eight or nine hours that it takes her to go to school, and I'm guessing he's a traditional dad who is absent from his kids lives, locked in career, and perhaps too old to have the stamina.

It really struck me how little time they must spend with their kid, and how when they do, they probably have trouble connecting since they spend so much time apart. Two things she said made a huge impression on me. First, that the mom's education took precedence over her time spent with her daughter, and second, that she justified her time away from her child by ensuring a solid financial future for her when she got older, even inserting the idea that they couldn't afford to send her to a good private school once she got older unless she became a lawyer.

Well, to all of this, I have a few thoughts, of course. First off, and I think very few people embrace this or even acknowledge it, but I would argue that any and every child, at least when they are young, would value time spent with mom or dad over any material object, especially money. It's ridiculous to think that you can compensate for your absence by buying your kid off, but many people take this approach.

Secondly, the idea that things will get easier is ludicrous. School is the easy part, once you become a professional, especially a lawyer, you'll have even less time. It's really an exercise in self-absorption when you work to further your career. How much is enough? It's never enough, so you keep working harder and harder, neglecting your family even more, spending more time apart.

Our friend even commented on the difficulty of finding a place to put their kid for a long enough duration so they could get what they needed to get done. This is where she placed the phrase, "Mommy's education is priority." I guess in the end I found the whole discourse sad and depressing, mainly for the child. Here's a kid who never gets to see her parents, and when she does, I'm guessing they're too busy to spend quality time with her. Law school has a way of doing that.

Children, in the end, are the victims of our selfish and mindless pursuits. They need a family, and when you get down to it, we all need our families, but of course we take them for granted in the pursuit of the American Dream. Not that my words would, or should, change the way people do things. I don't expect people to agree with me, but I am struck by the state of the world. Family really has been relegated to the backseat of the car of life.

Our friend also mentioned another of our friends, whom we haven't seen in ages, and there seemed to be more bad news. Apparently they're going through a rough period because mom is going to law school and dad is too self-absorbed to be responsible at home, making mom's job all that much harder. I can see it, I know him well enough, he's the archetype male, self-absorbed and unable to cope with hardship in a mature manner. It's one thing to whine, but not dealing with life and making your wife deal with it, on top of all her hardships with school and all, is going a bit too far. Maybe it comes from being a spoiled kid growing up, but as a father, you really need to step up and deal with your duties. You owe it to your family. Not that she's such a saint in all this, she's a bit wrapped up in her own future, as well, and once she becomes a lawyer, her time with her kids will more than likely dwindle down to zero.

Family, what's become of it? It makes me sad, though even more resolved to be there for mine. Until the next time, thanks for reading.

Grandparents Back Home

We had a wonderful visit from my in-laws, on so many levels. I couldn't help but think that it gets better each time, and even JR commented on how they feel less and less like guests and more like this is a home. We managed to have a good time just hanging around and doing not much of anything, and still enjoying ourselves. I think the key is my being able to hang with RR while R and JR and the kids can go out and do things. And do things they did.

Luckily we managed to find fun things for them to do, and things the kids would enjoy, as well. In the end, we ended up with not enough time, which I take to be a good thing. Even RR said four days wasn't enough, and that's huge. I think RR enjoys being here, he can relax and be outside, and if they ever took the time to experience the community, I know they'd enjoy it.

Best of all, both JR and RR look to the barn as a house they will live in, and that is pretty much all we can ask for. The clincher was when RR commented on the fact that he likes taking showers, and then the doors opened up and he took active part in the plans. I think he likes the idea of it all, and the wonderful thing is that JR can realize a dream of having her own house, complete with decor and personal touches. Not sure how DR will react to it all, but such is life.

PD played it well by meeting them and being very respectful, and RR came away from it with a very positive impression of him, which is a good thing.

So, onwards and upwards. We'll move the house to the next step, though there is much planning and work to still do. Until then, thanks for reading.

Final Day With the Rs

Today is the last day, or maybe the second to last day, they're leaving tomorrow, but maybe not too early, then we can spend more time together. It has been a great visit, not only has it been fun seeing them, but they are increasingly interested in spending more time here in Vermont, either for part of the summer of maybe for larger chunks of the year. It's a first step towards maybe having them here for the long term, an exciting proposition.

I spent the day with RR doing guy stuff while R and JR took A&N out to the Vermont Store for most of the day, so not much going on in the parenting world for me. We managed to get a lot done, and it really struck me how difficult it is to get work done when you're attending to the kids. You really get a huge break when you send them off to school.

JR commented on how well they're doing in academics, and she's a adamant advocate of public schools, even though she willingly acknowledges the problems she sees in the system. She is just very defensive about the teachers that she knows, who seem to try their best but are constrained by a system that doesn't always agree with their views on education. She also has noticed that kids these days are ruder and less respectful. Do you really want your kids in such an environment? No thanks.

We'll begin horses this week, our activities are beginning to fall into place, and we're still ruminating about swimming, though I'd like for the kids to do it. I don't think N is quite there, yet. Blading, biking, and other assorted activities on tap. And still no word from CB, not that I miss her, though I feel bad for A is she misses her. Still not sure what she sees in her, but I'll leave it at that.

Will probably try to connect with CH and the M's at some point. Still debating about the HS group, though my understanding is that it has gotten large. Not sure if we quite fit in, and still don't want to make our lives home-school centric.

Until the next time, thanks for reading.

The Week Ends

Ah, Friday at last. But what does that really mean? Had a busy day yesterday, had to make beef stew for the R's and then plan for today's meal, but it went well, everyone enjoyed the food so that made it all worthwhile. Then again, stew is pretty straightforward, and we used good John Madden beef, even though he didn't have the cut I wanted, it was really good meat.

Last night everyone managed to make it to contradance and they had a blast. More importantly, the kids had a blast. I felt it was important for the kids, esp. A, to get out and see their friends, and knowing IS and CH were going to be there made it a no-brainer. Best of all, they were excited to see A, and she had fun. I'm glad they made it, I know R didn't want to go, she was tired and I can't blame her, but I wanted JR to also experience town life, and that's just one thing. I hope she liked it. I was ready to go myself, if need be, but took the fall and stayed at home with RR, which is always cool because we have interesting and thoughtful discourse, and I think it's good for me to attend to any needs he has, not that he needs me, but might as well if I can.

Today is RR's birthday, and I need to make hot fudge sauce and brownies, though I wanted to include the kids, but I may have to take charge and make them before I leave for the dump, where I have to take care of hazardous waste. Started up again on the clapboards and I'll finish that in the coming days, but in the meantime have to take care of domestic duties.

I've noticed that I'm the only one who is changing the cat litter. I'm not complaining, but I'm wondering if anyone else has noticed. I realize I created this situation, but someone else could come forward and lend a hand. I'm making sure A should feed the cats, even though she really doesn't want to, but can't make it optional. She must.

Found a cool riding stable, had to make the big switch but it went smoothly, though these things seem to always come back to haunt me. I think the new stable is more our speed, easier and for beginners, and Is goes there, as do other girls A's age, so it works better. A and IS can't be in the same class but they'll overlap and hopefully get to see eachother in the horse environment. I can't tell you how happy I am that Is was so thrilled to see A at the dance. That just made my day.

Rollerblading has been going well, a big hit, though we took a chance on that one. Have much to do, will have to do it. Until then, thanks for reading.

PS Trying to write at night, not succeeding!

Moving On

Okay, I've finished the curriculum, and Ruth has basically given the green light, so I can send it in and get on with my life. I've still got to get word from the state, but we're a lot further along than a few days ago. Now the dilemma of where to being writing. I've neglected Wisebread and Parenting Squad so badly, but Demand studios is calling. What to do.

Talked to SC yesterday, first time in about a year, and it was odd but good. She still has a lot going on, and her life seems to be going well, though she talked my ear off, just like old times. Best of all, we left it without a definite plan on when we'll see eachother, though I think it's in the stars. I've looked into horses, have one lined up but am interested in another if they get back to me. Tonight is contradance and if my mother in-law is interested I'd love for her to come along, but we'll see. Should call J to let her know.

My in-laws are here and it's great to see them. We have a lot of fun together, and I think the possibility of having them visit more often, if not even move up here, seems more a possibility, though I base that on nothing. I hope it works out. They arrived yesterday early evening, and we had a nice time just hanging out, though the grim state of the world is resting heavily on their minds. They made a strong case for buying an American car, which we will consider.

We'll spend the day hanging out, I've got to make beef stew for dinner and fix clapboards, move firewood, and other assorted chores. Will keep working hard, and do home school stuff, as well. A&N were very excited about the visit, and they were very well behaved at dinner, so patient and polite. Everyone is so proud of them, for good reason.

I'll send out the curriculum today, and we have yet to return calls to N's mom. Just got my contract from the Fuel Club, it's about time, but it's a crazy time and I can't fault them.

Until the next time, thanks for reading.