Thursday, February 20, 2014

Gaining Perspective

Several years back we ran into some drama with some friends of ours and I still look back on it with a sour taste in my mouth. I am convinced there was some spite and malice involved in the other party, mainly the mom, and believe me when I tell you that this goes beyond conspiracy theory.

Either way, life goes one, and A was the only one who had a level head and didn’t make a big deal out of it. Kudos to her for her dignity and pride, even though as a parent I felt outraged. Then again, it’s good to know who you’re dealing with for future interactions.

Fast forward to today, and one of the girls on her team had a birthday party and didn’t invite A. This would not have been an issue if she hadn’t invited all the older girls on the team, thereby making it apparent that A was being excluded. Was this intentional? Who can say, but is sure seemed deliberate, and this girl definitely has a mean and vindictive streak in her and has targeted other girls for various reasons. Just a Mean Munchkin (MM), which is an appropriate moniker if there ever was one.

Anyway, we found out about the birthday through third-party channels, and as usual, I was so bummed. A, on the other hand, was so level headed, and didn’t make a big deal out of it. Now I have to acknowledge that A might not (probably) doesn’t get along with the MM. Then again, it’s generally acknowledged by people that know the MM that she’s mean, and also accepted by objective third party observers (i.e., not me) that A is not a mean kid.

One of the very-involved parents supports both these notions, and passed along the theory that the MM doesn’t like A because A is one of the few girls that stands up to her and defends the targets of her wrath. Being A’s father, of course I prefer this theory.

Whatever be the case, after ruminating and torturing myself over this, I talked it over with R and obtained some perspective, and in the end, it’s probably not all that I’ve made it out to be. Sure, I do think there was some deliberate thought to excluding A, but girl in question has every right to invite whom she pleases. Also, as I mentioned, why would she invite someone she doesn’t get along with?

The problem arises when that person is my daughter, but I also don’t want to make a big deal about it if A is okay with it, and she is. What complicated this whole situation was that A was having a friend over for a sleepover, and that friend was going to the party. After the party, we had planned on going to the HS hockey game, and the entire b-day party was going, as well. Talk about bad timing. However, A wanted to go, she didn’t care about the party, and I was proud of her for not making an issue out of this and wanting to just move on. She didn’t have any hard feelings to the MM, either. Talk about a Zen Master, what a cool kid she is.

There’s more to this story, but for now I’ll leave it at that. Thanks for reading, and thanks to Dianne Collins for the pic.

No comments: