Life Lessons from Coaching

I’ve done my third night of coaching and I’m definitely more comfortable with it. I don’t know what’s changed, either I’ve gotten better at hockey or I’ve just overcome my huge hang-ups over time, but whatever be the case, I feel like a contributing member of the team. I’m even barking out orders, with the coach’s assistance, of course. Amazingly enough, the kids listen, or at least feign it, but I’ll take it.

But first, some thoughts on having hang-ups. I had serious reservations about getting out there on the ice. I’m not a hockey player, I just play one on TV. Who did I think I was going out there and trying to teach kids about hockey? Sure, I’m a dad, and that gives me some credibility, deserved or not. My experiences with t-ball were similar in that I felt somewhat self-conscious about coaching the sport, even though I played that my entire life. There is something about being in charge of a large group of kids that terrifies me.

With that in mind, what better way to confront your fears, especially such irrational ones, than to just jump in with both feet? The first time I coached hockey, I felt really stupid because I was literally standing around picking my nose, and I decided I was done. The next practice, the head coach asked me where my skates were, and I felt bad, so I decided to stop being such a wimp and just help, especially since they could use the help. My second go-around wasn’t so bad because often the practices run themselves.

This last time, I actually had a job and had to tell kids what to do. Not my cup of tea, but I figured I could make a difference not only the player’s lives, but my own, as well. It wasn’t easy, but when you just do it, things start to flow. Sure, I needed help explaining the drills, but eventually the kids just figure it out, and it’s not pro hockey, my role doesn’t have to be flawless, though I try my best to get it right.

The point being, why am I so anxious and self-conscious? It really prevents me from doing so many things, and then I have to live with all this regret. My daughter commented that I seem to have so much anxiety about things, which is not a good example to set. However, since I have the anxiety, I can send an empowering message to the kids by dealing with and overcoming it. How’s that for a positive spin on things?

On a side note, I was speaking with one of the dads who is a hockey player about coaching, and he voiced some of the same concerns that I have. Maybe hearing it helps to clarify it in myself and that’s the first step to dealing with it. Just do it, as a wise man once said... or was it a company?

Boy, parenthood sure isn’t easy when you’re so neurotic like myself. Until the next time, thanks for reading, and thanks to Dave Di Biase for the pic.