Bushwhacked and Trapped

This always seems to happen to me, and I see it coming, but it nonetheless bothers me a bit to see it transpire. Not so much for the hassle, but for what I perceive as a bit of manipulation that we are succumbing to. As you all know by now, we have good friends who we hang out with a bunch. Their kids are buddies with ours, which is fine. The problem that crops up now and then is that A is a very loyal friend and would do just about anything for her best friends. Now loyalty is a great thing, but when you run across someone who can’t help but take a little bit extra, it can complicate things. Now I know A needs to work these things out and learn about the nature of people, but I can’t just sit back and encourage such behavior, or for that matter, play a part in it. Because I’m the parent in charge, I have the power to take a stand. That does not mean that I don’t resent being put on the spot.

The usual progression of events is that we get to see our friends and inevitably some request comes up, usually in the form of sleepovers, invites to dinner, attendance to events, or other assorted activities. This on top of what we are already doing. Normally I’m pretty open to doing things, but I know who the source of these ideas is, and it works something like this - one person wants something and plants the idea into our kid’s heads, and then they all work together to get me to comply. A bit sneaky, wouldn’t you say? Smart, but sneaky.

Since I’m on the spot, I have to come to a decision. If I say no, which is my first impulse, I literally get bombarded with resistance on all fronts, even my own kids, who are normally low key but with the right encouragement can go on the offensive. As I mentioned, I kind of resent it, and to add to the fun, usually the other parent is there keeping mum, which only encourages the kids. I’m guessing they are not averse to whatever ideas are being put forth.

Either way, I have to come to a decision, and again, I’m usually fairly game to do things spontaneously. However, when it is always the same people behind the plan, it can get a bit old. This time around, a new plan was sprung on me, and I stood my ground. Stick with the plan, and the more they fought back, the more I dug myself in for the long battle. I didn’t get mad, but part of me was a bit irritiated by the audacity of the kids. I never argued or battled with my friends parents. No always meant no, I didn’t try to make it harder by arguing.

I didn’t succumb, but I have to go into every social situation with said individuals knowing in the back of my head that this will crop up and unless certain people get what they want, there’s going to be a battle. Kind of makes me less enthused to enter into the situation in the first place, but nobody ever said human relations were easy.

Until the next time, thanks for reading, and thanks to Svilen Milev for the pic.