The Most Boring Movie Ever

In the interest of trying to find an activity that is fun, educational, and entertaining for the kids, we ended up practically torturing them. To their credit, they patiently sat through it and didn't complain, though I felt really bad. We have been going to a lot of movies lately at the college because we get a good deal on tickets since I work at there. Mostly we have to split up and somehow work it out, but every now and then we think the kids will enjoy a movie or two. There are definitely ones that the girls could see together and appreciate.

Recently they screened a documentary about the National Gallery in London, and I figured it would be an interesting learning experience about the museum. I'm a fan of art and at one time toyed with the idea of majoring in art history in college, though without question every one I knew tried to talk me out of it, and like a fool, I listened to them. Either way, I like art and can appreciate the story behind it. I figured we'd all learn something new about the National Gallery, but the movie ended up being completely different.

In fact, I really thought it was pretty lame, and I like documentaries. After the first hour I wanted to get up and scream, or better yet, leave the darn theater. It was really just a bunch of snippets about the daily workings at the museum, both front and center as well as behind the scenes. Some of it was interesting, but there were an inordinate number of scenes involving board meetings arguing about budgets and logistical issues. It was so tedious, and the beast was 3 hours long. I couldn't believe it.

In a major tactical error, we made the huge blunder of sitting right in the middle of the row. Normally they would have been killer seats, but we were exhausted, bored out of our minds, and trapped like animals. And, to rub salt in the proverbial wound, we wanted to go to the Chinese New Year party on campus where they were serving dumplings and moon cakes, but we completely missed it. After two hours I told R that I couldn't take it anymore and braved the crowd and got up and left. My plan was to take the kids with me and get the heck out, maybe even take them home because A had a big day in New York the next morning.

However, as I got up to leave, R told the kids to sit patiently and wait it out. She didn't realize, of course, that there was still another hour to go. Poor kids, I felt bad. The people in the row were very understanding and dare I say envious of me that I had the cojones to get up in the middle of the movie and leave. The funny thing is, gradually people came to their senses and left the torture chamber, and every one of them asked how long the torture was going to last. Clearly we didn't do our research.

Finally with about 20 minutes left, R braved the crowd and got the kids out. It was about 9:30 at that point and we were tired and hungry. We had to get home because we had an early morning, but I was really angry and frustrated at the movie. What a piece of junk, and a long one at that.

Now I feel like we can't drag the kids to any more of these things. It would be akin to torture, for parents and child, alike. Live and learn as the saying goes.

Until the next time, thanks for reading, and thanks to tom stovall for the pic.