What Am I Doing Here?

This is often a question I ask myself as I sit there in hockey practice, not to mention games. In fact, I seem to say it constantly because I'm at the arena pretty much every day of the week. I think things were much easier last year when the kids were younger and coaching hockey was not as intense and the kids were still small enough to where it was more fun. Now that they are older, the competition level is higher and dare I say, the stakes have risen. As a consequence, the coaching is more serious and there is less room for clueless coaches like myself.

Which begs the question, what exactly am I doing here? I have to confess, coaching is a bit more challenging this year, and just to plug that point home, I have to do it 4 out of 5 days during the week. I am happy to help out since I'm there anyway, but at some point you realize that you're just sort of in the way and the kids are heads and shoulders above me in ability. Plus, with the exception of myself, the coaches are exceptionally capable, and magnifying my lack of ability and knowledge.

I have no doubt that on some level the coaches appreciate my helping out, and now and then I'll throw out a nugget of wisdom that makes sense, but let's face it, for the most part, I'm way out of my league. I think every now and then there is a suggestion from the others that this is the case, but I also know that a lot of this is my own neurotic self-consciousness and lack of confidence. I feel as if I have no basis for teaching hockey since I don't know the game, though I guess I am learning.

I toyed with the idea of quitting because N's team has 3 other coaches who are amazing hockey players, unlike me. On the other hand, everyone is busy, and there are times when I have been helpful because it boils down to one or two of us on the ice. Whatever be the case, I will ride this season out. I don't want to send a message to the kids that it's good to quit when things are uncomfortable. Finish what you started, right?

Plus, the kids are having fun, and on some level they probably (hopefully) appreciate my presence on the ice. Then again, maybe not.

Until the next time, thanks for reading, and thanks to Leo Reynolds for the pic.