Thursday, February 26, 2009

Finally Skiing the Skiway

We finally made it to the Skiway and had a great day skiing. What an awesome hill, we really enjoyed it, and though we could have skied it all day, we had an appointment after lunch and had to bug out by lunchtime. Nonetheless, we really enjoyed it.

We got the kids new ski helmets and they fit great, so that was another plus, and I don't feel as guilty being a bad parent for outfitting them with helmets that are too big.

On the subject of guilt, I got a bit irked at the kids for spilling soy sauce in the car, and they clearly felt bad and I didn't help by being a grump. More issues with anger management, but I do have a new theory about it and firmly believe, perhaps naively so, that I will defeat this beast, because one spoiler moment can set the tone for the entire day, even if it's been a great day. To quote the Bard, "The evil that men do lives after them, the good oft interred with their bones."

Just for the record, we still had a great day, I'd just like to be more Zen about life, and have a theory how I can do it. But it's all talk until I can actually do it, so I'll keep it to myself and let you know how it goes.

Until then, thanks for reading.


NannyOgg said...

Ah, anger management, such fun. I used to be married to someone who never figured it out, so I admire you for actively working on it.

There are many online resources which can help you. What I personally find helps me is taking care of myself first. As parents it is extremely easy to put the kids first, and put our own needs and interests at the bottom of the stacks of things to do. This is not good for me, or for the kids.

I know you do karate, see whether you also can get daily time for yourself to meditate or do anything which is just for you.

When my kids were little, and they were driving me crazy, I did not hesitate to take a 'mommy timeout' if I felt overwhelmed. I would grab a cup of tea and a good book and shut myself in my bedroom, telling my kids I could only be interrupted for blood or fire. And that it should be a subsantial amount of blood, not just a minor scratch ^^

Those mommy time outs helped me to be a more effective parent the rest of the day.

Of course, you can't do that when you are in the car. In that case, take a deep breath and try to find humor in the situation. Or start writing a blog post in your head, about all the things which went wrong today. Writing in my head, even if I never post, helps me to step out of the situation, which helps me with staying calm.

Hmmm, I am rambling now, anyway, sending you tons of good anger management vibes. I have the fullest confidence that you will figure it out!


phredude said...

Hi Karen, Thanks for stopping by. Yes, mommy time outs (or in this case, daddy times outs) are very helpful, as are daily meditations or exercises. But I think for me the best thing is to be aware, at all times. Mind you, this is not a regular thing or a continual state, just enough to make me want to deal with. Besides, what a crappy way to go through life.

And finally, not to sound like I'm in denial, but I don't think it's a huge problem and most certainly not an insurmountable one, being the believer that I am in the fact that if you really want something, you'll get it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to practice my katas. Hope you're well and have nice day.

NannyOgg said...

Being aware is the first step at all times anyway. You can't manage something you are not aware of.

From what I read, it sounds like you are doing just fine, figuring out what works and doesn't work, and finding the method which is best for you.

Hope you got to do your katas, and didn't get distracted by something shiny on your way to do them. (not that that would ever happen to me of course ^^)