This is truly amazing, but in a way, it's really to be expected.
It involves the infamous YKW, or rather, the return of YKW. I'm not sure what to make of it all.
We hadn't seen or heard from YKW in awhile, and that was fine. We're busy on both ends, moving ahead with our lives, with the occasional back and forth with messages for playdates that go unanswered. Well, the other day, A wanted to call her, and she had a busy day planned but had time for a playdate in the AM before her day began. I thought it was a little silly, an hour or two of playdate before going to her friends and then hockey practice, but the kids were excited, and it seemed fine.
She came over, they had a great time, and then we both went about our day. The problem is, it seemed to rekindle A's feelings for YKW, and pretty much over the next two days, all she could talk about was YKW's birthday, which was in a day or two. It was bordering on obsession. She wanted to go to the store and buy YKW something, or go to Joanne's to buy some craft stuff to make her something. I couldn't believe it.
I wanted to sit A down and tell her, she is not your best friend. Sure, she's a friend, but she continually manages to ignore her and blow her off and treat her poorly in so many situations. That's her right, and kids will be kids, but I want A to recognize that real best friends don't treat each other that way. In fact, when we were skiing, A wanted to leave early to go shopping for YKW, and I said no way. I told her she needed to keep her cool, it wasn't healthy to be crazy about someone, especially when it's so one-sided, but maybe that's just her way.
In light of my lecture, A decided to make something with what she had, and she made a really cool ring and a necklace with beads. She also created her own card and decorated it. It was so cute, so creative and thoughtful, and of course, something a kid could never truly appreciate. Adults, especially parents, can see the amazing value in these things, but kids want the brand name stuff they see on TV.
Either way, on the day of YKW's birthday, A called and left her a birthday message. We were planning on going to the Aquatic Center (AC) and swimming, so on our way out, we stopped at YKW's house and left her the presents that A made. They were not home, so we assumed they were out and about, or doing birthday things.
Well, guess what kind of birthday things? When we got to the pool, who should we see but none other than YKW, there for her birthday party that completely excluded A. I couldn't believe it. When I saw YKW's mom, my heart sank, because I put 2 and 2 together and realized what was going on.
The saving grace was that the pool was crowded, crazy crowded, and there were several people we knew there. As far as I was concerned, however, all that mattered was that we picked the worst day to come. Talk about bad timing, you just can't win sometimes.
Worst of all, A saw YKW in the locker room and came out delirious with joy. She spent the next half hour staring at the locker room door waiting for her to emerge. She kept asking me, where is she? I wanted to tell her, get a grip, she is not your best friend. She doesn't feel that way about you, don't get all crazy about her. She's just a friend, leave it at that. She didn't even consider inviting you to her birthday.
Of course, I didn't say any of those things, but deep down, I just wanted to pack up leave. At one point, it took YKW and her entourage at least half an hour to come out, and I was beginning to think we lucked out and they had left. But sure enough, they suddenly appeared, YKW with her pals. Because of the chaos, I don't think A noticed at first, thankfully.
Now I'd like to clarify that I don't think YKW has any obligation whatsoever to invite our daughter to her birthday. She has every right to choose her friends, but what kind of dumb luck is it to run into them at the pool, making it painfully obvious that she couldn't care less about A? That kind of hurts, especially in light of the fact that these guys were good friends at one time, and she was just over at our house and had a great time. At least I think she had a great time.
It was weird, I just wanted either them or us to leave, it made the time awkward. It seems like such a commonplace thing now that when we go places or do things, YKW shows up with her other friends and blows A off, completely. Again, this is fine, it's her right to choose her friends, I just wish A was more cognizant of this fact and didn't deify her.
On a bright note, we saw some of our friends that we'd lost touch with, and eventually YKW did leave with her pals, so I could finally relax. The kids had loads of fun, but it was all overshadowed by the fact that, once again, YKW let it be known that she can't be bothered to give A the time of day when she's with certain company.
And you want to know the topper of the day? After swimming, A wanted to go home and call YKW to tell her happy birthday in person. I told her I'd think about it.
Until the next time, thanks for reading, and thanks to engindeniz for the pic.