No, I'm not talking about going to the bathroom.
I'm talking about getting the writing done, but also keeping in mind the long term goals, which are to get my glorious freelance writing career up and running. Not easy to do when you're a SAHD who is trying to be a real man at the same time. On the one hand, you want to be like Hemingway and write and do manly things and poison your body with absinthe, but on the other hand, I don't think he scored too many warm and fuzzy points in being a dad. Just a guess.
Either way, I'm torn. I have a writing gig that pays peanuts, but it pays, so I try to write at least one a day, but preferably two, and in a golden world, three. This is doable, I've done it, but it takes some time, usually all of my free morning time, which is when I write best. This, however, does not leave a lot of time to get the big stuff in, like writing a novel or play or screenplay... etc. One has to be sacrificed to fulfill the other, that's the way of the world. Oh, and of course, there's the issue of this blog, but don't get me started.
Anyway, I started writing a feature piece, but these things take time. First, because it's a longer, more involved piece. Second, because if it's a real piece of journalistic work, it has to be good. And third, because it's new territory, and I always struggle in these arenas. The take home message, I need some time to get it done, and time is one of the many things I don't have. I'm not trying to make excuses, just pointing out the drama that has become my life.
So I keep plugging along. I have confidence regarding two issues. One, I feel I can do this. This may be delusional, but sometimes you're better off that way. And two, that it will happen, and the day will come when I will get my act together and get it done. Then, my glorious freelance career will get off the ground, and we can all live our fabulously opulent lifestyles.
In the meantime, there are the quotidian matters that need to be attended to, and of these, there are many. A&N had their final drama classes this past week, and the program is coming to an abrupt halt. This is a bummer, because not only did the kids love the class, but we thought it was a good arena for A to get some constructive criticism that she will take to heart (i.e., it isn't coming from her parents), she is challenged and has to work hard to overcome it, she can express her creative and imaginative side, and she is around interesting and imaginative kids. AND, it's a cool experience and endeavor.
Now it's done. Some parents have a desire to keep it going, and I hope this works out. I think A came out of it liking it, but not loving it. In retrospect, she could have done better if she'd put in the time and effort, but a lot of things come easy for her. When the going gets tough and the challenge is greater than normal, her mode is to walk away and seek out the easier things. Not a good way to go through life. The only way to hook her into something more difficult is if she understands the end result is rewarding. That, or having us force her, which breeds resentment.
I think the drama speaks to her on a number of levels, and afterward, I spoke with her and she thought she could have done better, and though at first she didn't love the class, mainly because it wasn't fun and silly, but required work, she did get something out of it. She said if she had to do it all over again, she might be inclined to put in the time. We shall see.
We also sat in on N's final class, and somehow the kids seemed more out of control than last time. In fact, there were moments when it seemed like anarchy. I could see the exasperation of the teacher, and some of the kids struck me as in need of medication, it was that bad. I found myself exhausted in the end, but there was an end. N is bummed it's over, but maybe that's not a bad thing. One less activity to have to get to.
Until the next time, thanks for reading, and thanks to Zsuzsanna Kilian for the pic.